You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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