Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
