So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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