Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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