Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
