Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
