yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
