My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
