I didn't shave. On purpose
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
