I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
