Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?