dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing