As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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