the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
