I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
