i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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