it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
