He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
