whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
