I am spending my child support on dildos
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
