Just mADE A PArabola og urine
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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