The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize