the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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