She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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