This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
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Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
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