it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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