I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
40s are totally the cure
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
A+ Viking dick
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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