fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I have demons in me.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
