I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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