What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
