Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
