When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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