My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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