I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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