Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
