who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
