Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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