I wish I only lived at night.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
