So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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