Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
