you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
