hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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