If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
