Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He passed out mid-signature
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
