so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
