you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
