Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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