I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
