I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
