when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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