@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
