if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
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I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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