Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
This baby is an asshole
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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