halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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