He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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