Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
