You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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