I will die if light touches me.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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