this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
