Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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