Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
two words...techno handjob
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm bleeding and have questions
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
