The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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