One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
