I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
