in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
