Dual....:-)
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
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