What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
