if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize