Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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