How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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