That's when you crack a 10am beer
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
